The NICU reunion

 Dear Zara,

Today was the NICU reunion.  

You came into my life with quite a bang.  You were born 7 weeks early than your actual due date.  As my blood pressure was sky rocketing, you were happy as a clam in my belly.  Once I delivered you, the doctors and all of your nurses said that despite how small you were (3 lbs. 7 oz. to be exact), you were so strong willed and determined.  And they were shocked and surprised about how strong of lungs you had when you screamed lol.  Anyhow, you spent 5 weeks in the NICU.  Your papa and I visited you around the clock.  And even your Kuya and Ate came to visit.  (I say 'even' just cause little kids don't usually hang out at the NICU.)  Occasionally, all of your grandparents would come to see you.  As well as, your aunties and uncles.

As I drove down the drive into the hospital parking lot, I had this surreal feeling.  That route had been such a regular and important part of our life for 5 straight weeks.  And of course, once you came home, there was no need to go back.  As I was driving us in, I felt excited and slightly overwhelmed with emotion.  Just thinking of all we had experienced and how much you've grown.  And continue to grow on a daily.

As I write this letter of my love for you, I think about if things were different.  If you had gone full term.  Of course we will never know, but I there's a part of me that would not change anything.  Is that bad of me?  I don't mean that in a way, as if I would've preferred you to come early.  But I just feel like you coming so early, made us get to know each other better.  For instance, I learned early on that you're a fighter and extremely determined.  As I type, I realize that you are probably going to read this and think "Thanks alot Mom".  But when you're done reading, I hope you realize that no matter how much struggle we may have had initially, I'm so glad and lucky to have you in my life.  And would not change that for anything in the world.  I love you baby girl!!!!!